to celebrate.

Blog Post 46.

This is a difficult piece to write. I think I speak for many people in my situation when I say that right now, there is much to celebrate but there is also much to do and it feels wrong to be spending energy on celebration. I’m going to write this as an update on my personal situation and a reflection on certain situations in the world.

If all goes according to plan, my four years at the University of Denver will end officially on June 13th. I will have a Bachelors of Science in Business Administration in International Business and minors in Business Ethics and Legal Studies, Leadership Studies and Spanish. I will have made exceptional friends and memories. I will have accomplished much knowing I worked very, very hard, and hopefully saved some pollinators along the way.

On June 15th I will begin working for a software company called Oracle NetSuite as a Business Development Representative (code for sales). I never thought I would do sales but after being encouraged by many (and much to my dad’s tune of “I told you so”), it is where I will land to begin my professional career, and something I am very much looking forward to doing. I will move to Capitol Hill, an 11-minute bike ride from Areyan and Courtney, with my best friend, Madison. I will continue to grow plants, occasionally strum the guitar, and drink wine. I’m very excited to start a 401(k) and be able to confidently purchase shiitake mushrooms whenever I so choose.

The context in which the class of 2020 graduates is fascinating. There is a pandemic, we all know, and there is unprecedented ambiguity. After being raised in one of the best, we will graduate into quite possibly the worst economy this country has ever experienced- a challenge that defies interpretation. We will have no commencement on June 13th, so how am I to commence the next chapter of my life? The lines are blurred, maybe not for better or for worse, but they are and I’ve noticed. The big, energetic send-off into the world feels, for us, more like a lonely sailboat ride on murky waters, with little wind to fill our sails and enough chop to make us never forget that it is the sea upon which we float.

There is guilt, also. Guilt at wanting to celebrate four years of hard (very hard) work when there is so much still to be done to ensure that every person can have the same opportunities to work hard, to go for a run, to celebrate with family. The strangest sense of shame comes over me at my lack of voice on social media, even though social media has never been my route for speaking. Yet I do not feel guilty about refusing to participate in the optical allyship that so many in my generation feel compelled to promote. I feel so strongly about justice, maybe more strongly about it than anything else, so my response to the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement involves my abilities to engage in conversation, to do research, and to examine my understanding of identity and community.

Very apropos to this time: my book club’s most recent selection was Toni Morrison’s Beloved. Having grown up in a Hispanic community, I was seldom exposed to the history of Black Americans, so reading this marvelous and haunting novel was a reminder of the importance of seeking to understand perspectives that I wouldn’t otherwise be able to know. It was also disheartening to see the key themes of the novel as pervasive in the United States still today. These issues are systemic. They are not solved, and they are worth great effort, to the benefit of everyone.

Next Saturday, my close friends and I will be having a party to celebrate and to reminisce. We will likely also discuss the goings-on of the world right now. I am so lucky to have friends with whom I can discuss such important topics. We are all going different directions, and many of us are going in directions we had not planned to, a reality that is slowly settling upon us. It is exciting. It is frightening. It is all going to be okay.

I believe there should exist a balance to everything. I think we can celebrate accomplishments and be conscientious of the failures of society. I want to continue to do my best with every aspect of my life that I can control, and react my best to all those aspects that I cannot control. I have much to give.

Felicidades.