la acción de gracias

Blog Post 20.

Thanksgiving. In honor of Thanksgiving Day in the USA, I want to write about our little cena de gracias here in Cádiz.

The food: is it even thanksgiving if you aren’t in excruciating pain after the meal? I think not- this we accomplished, and we certainly made up for the lack of food Paris treated us to last weekend.

It was weird having Thanksgiving without red chile, Tía Suzie’s corn dip or pumpkin pie. But tuna tartar, garbanzo con espinaca and flan were not bad substitutes. The turkey was tasty and besides, Thanksgiving isn’t all about the food.

The Past: Not a topic I like to dwell on, but one I am thankful for nonetheless. Andrés mentioned this at dinner, and it’s something so profound and global to ponder: so many decisions and reactions to decisions and reactions to actions and coincidences and  junctures and whatever else by myself and so many other people all led to my being who I am, where I am, doing what I’m doing now. And the gratitude I feel for all these things borders on ludicrous. As is the case with most people, my past is a place of great joy but also great pain and I am equally thankful for the two because one does not exist without the other and I do not exist without having experienced them both.

The here and now: Sitting with our little group, including our program director who we all adore to no end, helped me to resurface the appreciation I have for my circumstances here. I really am so thankful to have chosen this tiny program in this little town in Spain. I’ve gotten to become close with every one of my program mates and learn the joy of exploring people who are totally different than those I’m usually around. I feel like we balance well as a group and also each appreciate things for the right reasons, whatever those may be.

This sounds weird, but it’s kind of cool to feel isolated from things that are going on in my extended here and now that I am thankful for. I like to think it’s helping me appreciate them more and reshaping my ideas of what it all means to me.

The future: How fortunate I am to be thankful for what hasn’t even happened yet in my life. Hannah brought this up at our thanksgiving dinner and the feeling is mutual: to be thankful for all I have in this moment, but to have so much to be thankful for in the life I will return to in the USA. I’ll get to return to my childhood home and eat Los Poblanos forbidden rice oatmeal. I’ll get to see the chiropractor. I’ll get to return to the people I call home in Denver. I’ll get to go to class in my native language and return to my little hostess job at True Food Kitchen that I enjoy so much. I’ll get to have breakfast at the Flying Star with my Dad and drive through snow storms to go get ice cream with my best friend. I’ll get to experience more of “adulthood” than I ever have and learn even more about myself every day.

Come to think of it, it’s the small bits I’m thankful for the most. They are the fibers of life.

For family and opportunity and health and happiness. For knowing myself and having ever more to discover in her. For the big things and the little things.

For having so much to be thankful for that I couldn’t possibly say it all, I’m so thankful.