From a Thought, a Feeling.
the grilled cheese summer: i find myself, twenty years old
I’ve lately been experiencing the strangest mix of homesickness and yearning to be places I have never before been. I want to see my sister. My father. My mother and her mother especially. I want to find myself ankle-deep in the crisp salt water of the Mediterranean. I ache to hide under the white down comforter in my childhood bedroom, cuddled against the family greyhound, the familiar morning Sun beaming through the east-facing window.
I live in a new city and there are smells all around that wash me- consume me- in nostalgia. But for what, I cannot recall. Sometimes the smell is a stench. Other times it is a flower I never know grew outside of the middle Rio Grande Valley.
Beside me always is the best friend I have ever had. I am surrounded by the squishiness of uncertainty and she remains the unwavering solid thing upon which I may rest my weary head. As we move boxes of meager possessions between homes, and move them again, I know she, too, is sweating- sticky as I am.
I build relationships I never knew would exist and I watch some I thought I would have forever fade. There is an ebb and a flow to everything. At varying tempos and inconsistent rates, the world steadily turns. I am at my highest and my lowest and everything in between at once. There is always another book to read. There is always a new recipe to try. There are plants awaiting encouragement by my hand.
Kulani Sol 