Blog Post 49.
Today is the last of a year that has been many things. Two thousand twenty is a year that will be spoken about in ways that 2011, 2007 and, oh I don’t know, 1995 simply will not be. There will likely be a whole chapter on it in history, sociology, and policy textbooks (at least for a few decades- then there will still likely be at least a section or two).
I find it interesting that we have confined much of the strife, the intensity of the issues we’ve faced in recent months (pandemic, massive economic failings, political turmoil, and race movements to name a few) to a year, as if tomorrow (the first day of two thousand twenty one) will be somehow free of the aforementioned upheaval. As if it is the year that caused the turbulence.
I do not expect there to be much of a difference, quite frankly, between today and tomorrow, but I do enjoy using the end of one year and the beginning of the next as an impetus for reflecting, goal setting, and positioning intentions. I’ll do a bit of the here.
Reflection
I knew that this year would be one full of change, and it was in many ways. My life as an undergraduate student ended in a sort of bedraggled, lengthy, and incomplete-feeling way. I was incredibly proud of the work I’d accomplished in four years, of the friends I’d cherished (and will keep for all the years to come), and of the small impressions I’d made on the University and its future. I spent almost every moment of the final quarter of school in a small, dated house on Williams Street with two exceptionally lovely people (Madison and Laynie), a snail named Rosemary, and a fish named Isaac. I read books, I painted, I wrote a bit, I danced, and I attended classes from my bedroom. I learned a lot about collective consciousness, about how viruses actually work, and pondered the fact that almost every person in the world was enduring an experience alongside almost every other person in the world.
I was very worried in the Spring as graduation approached, prospects became bleacher for the economy, and I grappled with the caught feeling of stagnation. I was worried because graduating from college means finding a job. And I did not want to settle. I methodically applied, and was told several times that “things” were simply too uncertain for offers to be made. Several people endured this period of worry with me- they know who they are and they deserve my most sincere gratitude. I did eventually find a job- and a good one at that! I work for a big tech company now, in a role I had not expected, but one that allows me to learn a lot, to work hard, and to contribute to a team of people with whom I feel genuinely motivated to work. I feel confident and grateful about the start of my career.
Relationships have taken fascinating courses over the past year. With all the changes, some people have really proven to be dear friends- and to be people for whom I want to prove myself a dear friend. Other friendships have lost much of their light. This I find natural, given the way humans operate and evolve. I still find it somewhat devastating, though. To think that a relationship- a person- could means so much and occupy such a significant space in one’s life, then over the course of a year loose much of the essence that made it so meaningful in the first place.
My best friend, Madison, and I moved into a small apartment in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Denver. We’re big city girls now! She and I are extremely fortunate that we live well together. June will mark three years of nearly constant roommate-ship for us. Three years for which I am endlessly grateful. We share our apartment with many plants, with Isaac, and with my new fish, Cedric.
This year I fell in love. That was more unexpected than the global pandemic would have been. I don’t write about it much, because it is still a very shiny, new thing in my life- something that doesn’t have many words for it (outside of the relationship) quite yet. All I can say is that in many blatant and in many unexpected ways, I think that Kirk is very right for me, and in some ways, I for him. That is good enough for now, don’t you think? It sounds practical… I like to lay things out practically when I am uncomfortable doing so emotionally. There isn’t too too much to our relationship that others might see, or that I tell them about, but I feel there is a lot there for us, just for us, that makes it special. That’s probably what most people think about their romantic relationships. Nonetheless, I like to consider ours special.
I’ve spent much time with Areyan and his wife, Courtney. In fact, I’m at their new home with their new puppy, Tex, on my lap at this very moment! Having family in Denver is magical. We’ve gotten a lot out of being together in Colorado- skiing, biking, running, hiking, sharing meals, and just being able to see more of one another is all a blessing and marvelously diverting.
Goal Setting
I’ve lately neglected some of the creative parts of my life that I find nurturing and powerful. I want to focus on these more in the coming year. Those creative goals are:
- to read more books- I think I finished about 8 this year- I would like to double that in 2021
- to write more- my usual essays and I would like to take a stab at some fiction (short stories and such). I’ll say a finished piece of writing each month
- photography is something I’ve always enjoyed and a skill I will work toward improving in 2021. I need to get a new camera
We all deserve to make health goals for ourselves. Mine are:
- to complete a half marathon of running
- to ride my bike 100 contiguous miles at some point
- Find a therapist – that’s something I’ve been meaning to do for some time now, but haven’t ever gotten past the stage of selecting one. I want to find the right one and I need to understand that doing so may take some effort
Miscellaneous:
- I would like to have an emergency fund put away and be well on my way to saving for a down payment on a house
- to travel more frequently, and to new places, or to discover familiar places anew. I want to plan a few days of travel every couple months
Intentions
Learn
Prioritize
Resilience
Listen
Challenge
Lots to come in 2021.
Kulani Sol 